Media is just blowing shit out of proportion. The bartender's original statement was taken out of context. It was a friendly game of catch and the "victim" apologized for her stonehands and for misunderstanding Ward when he informed her he was just dropping off signed liquor bottles to his favorite strip club. It was…

Damn You! fucking Dicks!

Hunter Pence watches Spenser for Hire and Hunter reruns.

Hunter Pence can't find his scooter.

Hunter Pence is good at math.

#8 would have a pretty hard time being my cellmate.

Hunter Pence pees in the sink to conserve water.

This shit's straight out of a Scooby Doo episode. Back to the mystery machine guy's. It's not scary.

Aiming high is how they got the attempted sodomy.

So Tiger says to the pussy lips: "Could you guys give me some fucking space."

How many bong rips does it take to two-hop it to home?

Beach Lou: It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again.

...whose name starts with the first letter of the alphabet and whose last name rhymes with hemorrhoid, which was the obvious reason he was able to convince trainers to smear the cream on his rear end... Trainers are dumb to fall for that old trick.

"You can buy another couch Eddie Murphy. Wat I'm gonna do bout my LEGS!"

He chilled out about it after about 30 years went by, but man, he seemed to never shut up about it. Not a Theismann fan.