It’s called dehydration, dumbass.

Woah woah, is there a beginners “How to have any sex life” course you can give us before getting out hopes up with a better sex life?

I would watch a show of her watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians and shittalking them throughout.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING MY RAGE AT INCORRECT SMALL RODENT IDENTIFICATION ON THE INTERNETS.

THAT’S NOT A RAT IN THE PHOTO, THOUGH, OMG!!! I AM MAD ON THE INTERNET!!!! (Think it’s a prairie dog?) (Judges?)

Have you heard of the Raveonettes? They’re a Danish noise-pop duo. They mix squalling guitars with a bit of 50s/60s surf-type music. One of my favorites from a recent album:

We should also ban “I caught a fish” selfies, but the tiger selfies are more pressing.

That is literally an over the shoulder boulder holder

I bought my friend a stuffed unicorn named Sparkle Farts and it farts and speaks in a British accent. This was an excellent purchase in my opinion.

I’d just like to point out that I greatly dislike the term “Frunk.” I much prefer the combination of the British-sourced “Boot” with the common “Front” for the delightful “Froot.”

If you can convince your cat to be an indoor cat, please do. Free-range cats are detrimental to native wildlife. Most cats adapt very well to being indoor cats, or mostly-indoor cats. They can do cat things indoors, in an enclosed “catio”, or outside on a leash. The birds will have longer lives and so will the cats.…

It was recently reported that two days ago several shelter volunteers have gone to the break room but did not return for their duties. Their new celebrity cat was asked if he had any information on the matter. He remains silent and spends a good amount of time licking his paws.

I can honestly say I was alive before men walked on the moon. Sure, it was for less than a year, but that counts!

Hated this show from the first five minutes, hate-watched the entire season in an afternoon, texted my friends about how much I hated it the whole time. It was terrible. I am terrible.

The Tenderman posts on Jezebel using his real name.

oh hey, someone took a video of me dancing

#justice4lamby

How come women can’t go sleeveless when Paul Ryan is allowed to go spineless?

That all makes so much sense, thanks! And also, hello well-endowed soldier, you single?

LINK!