Egg cartons generally do not contain salmonella. There’s a tiny chance that they might, but only if salmonella was present at the farm where they originated or at the packaging facility.

Not to alarm you, but Ascot hats are a British Class Designator.

I’m just here for the avocado toast

That picture is only 92 sponges. Count your order when it comes in, people!

That picture is only 92 sponges. Count your order when it comes in, people!

Pepe is a nickname for Jose,Giuseppe, Jusepe. In Latin, Saint Joseph’s name is always followed by the letters “P.P” for pater putativus (commonly accepted) father of Jesus Christ. In Spanish, the letter “P” is pronounced “peh” giving rise to the nickname Pepe for Jose

RIP Behind Closed Ovens

Alamo Drafthouse apologizes for Manpocalypse

It seems very Russian to insult someone by saying they have “weak hands”.

Maybe she’s a crier? I am. I cry at everything. I cried all morning today.

Okay but I would still use toilet paper to dry myself after all that.

I say it! It’s a great word, and I’m not sorry.

My excuse for everything from now on:

Isn’t it called The Hammaconda?

Trump looks like a political cartoonist drew him, thought the caricature was too exaggerated, crumpled the sketch into a ball and threw it away. Later, under deadline, he said “Eh, fuck it, good enough” fished the sketch out of the wastebasket, smoothed it out with his hands and sent it in.

Best line ever “If you want to keep your heads up your own bleached assholes, LA, be my guest.”

Per Snopes:

I moved from Japan back to the US. I didn’t want to leave my dog behind. She was fine, in good health, and we flew from Japan > Seattle > SLC > Omaha. She had opportunities in Japan and Seattle to be walked. Her crate was lined with absorbent material (which was dry after the flights) and a food and water bowl. She…