My excuse for everything from now on:

Isn’t it called The Hammaconda?

Trump looks like a political cartoonist drew him, thought the caricature was too exaggerated, crumpled the sketch into a ball and threw it away. Later, under deadline, he said “Eh, fuck it, good enough” fished the sketch out of the wastebasket, smoothed it out with his hands and sent it in.

Best line ever “If you want to keep your heads up your own bleached assholes, LA, be my guest.”

Per Snopes:

Feeling extra lame for never having sunbathed topless in my life :/

The only hangers I will ever use... Joy’s Huggable Hangers: https://www.hsn.com/products/huggable-hangers-65pc-essential-closet-set/10073337 

The only hangers I will ever use... Joy’s Huggable Hangers: https://www.hsn.com/products/huggable-hangers-65pc-essen…

I moved from Japan back to the US. I didn’t want to leave my dog behind. She was fine, in good health, and we flew from Japan > Seattle > SLC > Omaha. She had opportunities in Japan and Seattle to be walked. Her crate was lined with absorbent material (which was dry after the flights) and a food and water bowl. She…

I know a guy who had to move from Kiev to South Korea for work. He didn’t trust any airlines to keep his dog alive for the 15+ hour-long flight, so instead of risking it or leaving his dog behind, he sold most of his stuff, mailed what little he had left to his new workplace, packed a bag full with dog supplies,…

I had no idea there was going to be a season 2 of this terrible show. I’m going to watch the entire thing.

i don’t care, but i know someone who has a pie for him

It gets weirder the further you go down.

I am somehow boring.

:(

I had better luck!

I Googled my name and “hot” and got a picture of an anime character superimposed behind a photo of a windbreaker, so...

I’m somehow not feeling any better.

I google “hormonal changes in middle aged women” when I’m feeling hot.