Don't forget; we also had daytime talk shows!

lol at drew pretending to listen to r&b or have a soul

IT'S REAL TO ME, DAMMIT

There's your problem, you have no idea what you're talking about because you don't live here anymore. Sure, there is still plenty of old school texmex, where the cheese and gravy are lathered on thick, and there are still plenty of other shitty restaurants that plenty of the tasteless droves still flock to, but get…

If nothing else, I admire your fervor.

You can't be an effing Renaissance Poet if you were born in the 20th Century.

And even then, only WHILE you're at Ren Faire.

You don't get to call yourself that, unless you're the actor playing a poet at Renaissance Faire.

Almost as good as the woman and friend who left dead fish all over the ex's house.

Ah, a tribute to 'Art thou en route fair maiden', my favourite renaissance jam.

Aww, my mom calls herself a poet! Because she publishes and teaches poetry. I don't hate her but I do constantly remind her that she doesn't have a real job.

Seriously, what the fuck is a renaissance poet. And when you get fired from said job as a renaissance poet, where do you go from there? I take solace in the fact that he probably never found a job again because what could he even do after that?

RENAISSANCE POET?

'The average human stomach holds about 32 ounces.'

Right? That's some serious chutzpah.

I dated a guy for six months or so, almost 7 years ago. He started out awesome but turned out to be a ridiculous asshole — for example, toward the end of our time together, after we had sex one night he "jokingly" compared me to Jabba the Hutt when I had a hard time contorting my body into a weird position he wanted…

Jack White is reportedly pissed.

I wish he'd bitten Wright Thompson in the fedora.

Much better tackler than his cousin, Lito.

Maybe it's something about the Philadelphia area and Democratic wins? My wife basically attacked me during Obama's victory speech. We live in a suburb of Philadelphia.