I've failed as a Texas Gulf Coaster.

Never go to Padre.

who would have thought this guy would be a sex addict?

About a year ago I switched the dog from tennis balls to baseballs, and softballs, you feel way more accomplished tossing those when you're playing fetch.

Rembert to Deadspin for Drew.

Now would be the time to mention that the one thing she loved more than myself, or really anything at this point in her life, was her dog, a pomeranian/poodle mix named Sparky.

I was 25, she was 22, three months into the relationship she sat me down and said "It's really important to me that I have a child in the next year, all I want to be is a mom, and I want a family as soon as possible." I GTFO.

There's also a great Gary Smith story from Sport's Illustrated on McFarlend that made it into the 2005 edition of The Best American Sports Writing

^ THIS

More info on the story here: http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2015/02/live-v…

Turns out she lost a child fairly recently, and that van was the family's sole mode of transportation. So you can understand her anger.

I also legit brought my dog on stage, and sent him into the crowd to be my buffer.

I did my first and last stand-up set on a dare two weeks ago, the key to it is to get stupid drunk so you don't remember anything.

Huh, I guess hips do lie.

Wait till he realizes he's a Post-Rock band from Austin http://chipperjones.bandcamp.com/

*cums* - Vince McMahon

But can he take a Cassowary?

Nice to see someone from Highland Park land on their feet.

Pollstarpro is your best bet.

I'm emailing you about this.