I’m not crying, you’re crying

CALL BERNIE KOSAR A RAVEN AGAIN, SEE WHAT HAPPENS

I know the PERFECT man for the job.

“Cleveland faces the Bills next Sunday” was the first draft of Hemingway’s famous six-word story.

Tim Duncan has been pretty much non-existent for the Spurs this season, and they are still 18-5.

Whatever you need to tell yourself, man.

They’re yet another sign of Russia’s infiltration and perversion of American values.

For you, being trapped in a hotel in North Dakota during a blizzard in subzero temperatures will be a story you tell for the rest of your life. For midwesterners, it was Tuesday.

Onanism: benefits of, 1-496

If you really look closely at his eyes on that dunk, you can see The Golden State Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals.

Sam stood out from the start. “Born on third base,” as he says, not because his family had money but because he considers intellect, not class, to be the new driver in society.

At first I thought watching a game backward didn’t make a lot of sense. Then I realized it’s just another perspective. And from that perspective every game ends in a tie. And then I thought, why not draft another power forward?

You mean when it’s modifying a verb? Like changed?

Hell yeah Ottawa finally won a sports championship, time to go riot!!!

I have a real piece of shit Saturn. I describe it as “it looks exactly like the car you expect a newspaper reporter to have.’ It’s also missing a door handle. But it runs!

Man, people sure have a strange way of expressing their economic insecurity.

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.