DDG is a MASTERPIECE.

We are one.

JOE LIIIIES

It was everywhere, sister.

#inspo

It is everywhere, but seriously, there’s something for everyone. I post my daughter’s lunches on IG as a way to keep track and go back for inspiration and follow some other moms who do the same thing. There’s literally a thing called “yolkporn” to see pictures and videos of perfectly cooked egg yolks breaking open. I…

I was plump when I got pregnant, gained 35 lb, and then lost 40 lb the first 2 weeks after my daughter was born. A nurse commented about how great I looked only 2 weeks from giving birth. The nurse who checked me to the psychiatrist because I hadn't eaten in 2 weeks because I was sobbing 24/7 and in the throes of PPD.…

Oh, HELL NO. But same, until my daughter was 2 and my husband told me he felt he was in charge of all the "entertaining" of our daughter. Seriously, don't F with a PPD mom who hasn't slept in 2 years. I made him list what I was doing while he was "entertaining." Hey, let's switch. YOU make dinner, do laundry, lunches,…

Reminds me of a "friend" who told me a couple of times while I was pregnant that I should just get up, take a shower, and get some exercise. Each time after I'd been released from the hospital for yet another pregnancy-related issue (heart condition, 31-week-long migraine, hyperemesis, dehydration from barfing). I…

It's the "what's your excuse" with the assumption that this person is my ideal and if only my fatass would PUT DOWN THE DORITOS and lunge my way through the grocery store, I, too, could achieve that level of perfection. Yes, I want to be thinner. I also want to be less tired, so I choose naps.

A HEART CONDITION IS NO EXCUSE LAZYBONES SADDLEBAGS

More like Erykah Badon't, amirite?

People are going to disagree with you here, and maybe it's because they don't have children or don't have daughters, but I know exactly where you're coming from. I buy my daughter's clothes and it's all relatively modest because she's my kid and that's my choice. I don't like seeing children who can still be labeled…

I did this for my starter marriage, set a couple of disposable cameras on every table. Basically you have 3 enthusiastic guests running around taking awful pictures and then the rest are children using the 94 other cameras to take pictures of table legs. Fail. Target didn't even charge us for the almost 400 prints we…

My husband's cousin volunteered as a wedding gift to photograph our very laidback, relaxed wedding (it was my second, so I let his mom and sister plan the whole thing). She had a "real" job, but had been paid in the past to photograph other weddings. We got the photo album from her a couple of months later and it was…

Why are her arms so very orange? And is it the angle, or are her boobs VASTLY different sizes? She looks like she smells like tanning bed and regret.

Amen.

I can't ever not remember that she put her toddler child's pajama bottoms on herself and posted a photo of it. Even with brain bleach and therapy.

Look up the prevalence of Wayne as the middle name of criminals. Eek.

The (pretty low income) apartment complex where I lived with my twin sister and Dad from age 15-18 had a couple of fix-it type dudes who lived on site. I remember one who came to fix a leak in the shower who told me, "we were talking about rapin one of y'all girls one of these days." I thought it was super gross but I…