Every press conference, I try the Scanners method. One day...one...day.

This.

“Testicles as seen from below” design. High fashion. Much good.

Yeah, I homed right in on the “self employed” portion also.

Confederate symbols belong in a museum only, as a warning not to repeat past crimes against humanity.

Nah, it will just take a few weeks. Have one or two people with saws cutting about 2/3 of the way through the legs over the course of a few days/weeks, then, when the time is right, sledgehammer to the nuts on all statues.

Cat sitter/fashion advisor?

I’m willing to bet that it will be the only leak they’re able to stop.

My cat, Cogs, doing his, “Hey, wake up. She’s taking a picture!” slap.

Jaqim, you’re a troll. Your few comments win you a free bridge. Now go hide under it until you make another account to hide behind.

Totally no double standards on treatment. Nope.

Their “mission statement” sounds a lot like what a young kid would say to sound edgy to his friends.

Correct. It is also the very same bill he said he couldn’t vote for in its current form, then proceeded to vote for in its current form.

You’re absolutely right. They’ll comb through his history, trying to find justification. If they can’t find any, the officer will go on paid leave for a month, then return after some “retraining” that will change nothing.

I see him as a victim, full stop.

Just as an update: He voted for the health bill as written. I shit you not.

Then your imagination is lacking. This will be a debate point come 2020 when Breitbart/Infowars hosts the debates, with Fox and Friends acting as moderators...

I would suggest following Real Press Sec. It’s a bot that mockingly turns all of Trump’s tweets into official documents (since, according to the White House, all tweets are official statements).

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramucci, Scaramucci, will you do the Fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning
Very, very frightening me