Y’know, Douglas, the word “hero” gets thrown around a lot these days; but you might just be the greatest hero in American history.

She took out the Juggernaut, she can take him.

She can fit comfortably in most overhead storage compartments, but I’d lay down $100 that she could put him in a coma with a single punch.

I’m a straight, white dude who was raised Baptist (didn’t take). I support equality and human rights for all.

And even then, she’s not exactly burning up the charts. Truly our generation’s Suzanne Somers.

I’ve said it before, and I will never, ever fail to say it again given even the flimsiest pretext:

In which case, right back it goes!

Arizona: Florida Jr.

Best wishes to him. Depression is a cruel fucking condition.

Overpriced everything, crime, racial unrest, infrastructural decay and yet a smug, unearned feeling of superiority to every other city on Earth?

Depends on the body. I’ll prove it. Imagine Donald Trump naked.

Or doing something... anything... about your city’s omnipresent stench of urine?

No topless women? Just another reason for me to never set foot in New York again.

I’d bet most porn sets have a craft service table loaded with Subway products.

Yeah, Subway just became the next Radio Shack.

They could all meet for lunch at Quizno’s.

I’m relieved; Jesus, that face. I’d rather see Slender Man hovering over me first thing in the morning.