So, we’re all done with her now, right? We’re all done pretending anyone should give a shit about this kid?

They don’t see, they don’t understand, and they do not care. They are evil incarnate.

That, and, y’know, tens of millions of dollars.

I’ll be in my bunk.

That’s what I did with that gif of her with my precious Gillian Anderson, so don’t sweat it.

All Ed Sheeran fans are wrong. It’s just a fact. The Sun is hot, Sheeran sucks. That’s just science.

He’s a ponce. He’s like some Guatemalan knock-off John Mayer collectible figurine, the kind you’d find packaged with Spider-Man and a Ninja Turtle for no good reason.

Did you notice she changed gender pronouns for a line in #7? I found that interesting.

Well, if he wasn’t completely out of the running already, that oughtta do it.

He still is.

Don’t forget to bring along a shitload of C4 and detonators.

You’re curious to hear his whatnow?

Hey, George? Seeing as you’re so disgruntled and disappointed in America, there are lots of other countries to choose from. Also, nobody wants you in this one. Although, I’m certain no other country would want you either; perhaps we can enlist NASA to launch you into space. Not orbit, space. Away. Into the empty,…

Quick protip for those of you who question that any malfeasance was committed here:

Ohhh, Jake.... *swoon*

Can’t wait for a furious rebuttal from that pastor.

Because it’s what we pay Jesus to do. I already have a job.

Is that difficult? Because if this senseless guppy can pull it off, I have to think it might be cake.

I might just have to try this tactic out, next time I find myself in a really precarious situation. I’ll let you know how it works out; knowing my luck, I’ll be President in 2020, and impeached before the end of my electoral victory party.

Wasn’t the Lansing Mafia founded by estranged members of the Illinois Nazis?