Power and money, money and power; he’d suck your dick if that were the only option left to attain them.

He most likely does not actually want to be President; but his venal, reptilian daddy wants to make the Presidency the Bush family business, and for all their cannibalistic spawn to follow in his cloven hoof-prints.

This is a giant wealthy company that you’ve heard of, that could easily afford to give its employees paid leave and just doesn’t. Disgusting.

If your sloth only poops once a week, I’d recommend a visit to the vet.

The price of devoting one’s life to the service of evil: wealth and power without hindrance or accountability, yet its ravages upon the soul finally manifest in the flesh itself.

As the philosopher once said: “I would never join any club that would have me as a member.”

I’m sure he owes some money to some... legitimate businessmen, but he’s definitely the bitch in that relationship. He’s about as hard as mayonnaise.

In my experience, those who visibly loathe their jobs tend to ascend to higher positions that demand far less of them, so long as they’ve kissed the right asses at the right time. Those of us left in the trenches are then reminded on a nearly hourly basis how visibly loathed we are for supporting them while they take…

For years, I’ve been a vocal proponent of installing RFID chips in every person holding, serving and especially campaigning for a political office, so they can be tracked and monitored at all times with a free, easy-to-use smartphone app! With a simple tap, you get up-to-the-minute stats on your choice of hundreds of…

I’m sure he very much liked to think so while jackin’ it to The Sopranos when he was supposed to be working. Probably made the wife and kids call him “Tone” all the time, for months on end.

No, don’t go just yet! We need your positive energy to help animate the Statue of Liberty, so she can punt that fat bastard into the Hudson!

Honestly, I feel just slightly safer knowing the Presidency is within the grasp of rich, overfed Momma’s boys who just want free lunches and swish accommodations to laze about in, more so than the whack-job “true believers” whose only wish is to empty the silos and force their long-awaited Rapture on us all.

Chris Christie ain’t running anywhere.

Marry me.

“As a parent and as a father, I would be ripped ballistic if somebody did that to my daughter,” O’Malley said.

It exists for one market alone; the market who provided box office revenue for Battleship, Ouija and four consecutive Transformers movies, providing coked-out middle-aged frat-boys in suits with figures they mistakenly saw as guideposts to executive decisions in American entertainment.

Basically, yep. He clearly means to ascend to a higher office, buoyed by this outspoken moral stance; which, I’m sure, will not be almost immediately derailed by a revelation that he has texted his dick to every man in Missouri.

I guess if you can’t win an argument with facts and reasoning, simply lie, cheat and declare war on your opponent. What an example to set for all the children.

Until I read... this, I had completely bagged even seeing this movie before it’s eventual debut on TNT; now, I’m reconsidering, only because of the sick entertainment I’d derive -not from the movie- but from the slap-fights and hysterical sobbing among the viewers.

This whole damn country needs a Time-Out.