Oh, don’t be so literary.

The one case where a woman would (hopefully) volunteer to place a paper bag over her own head pre-coitus. Placing it over his only slightly mitigates the horror.

Honestly, why would anyone make a wax statue of this warbling grotesque?

Paris Hilton once tried to trademark the words “That’s hot,” mainly because they’re the only two words she knows.

One by one.

One by one.

The intro doesn’t exactly lay out what Blankenship defines as a “fuckgirl”—a word bastardized from the terms “fuckboy,” which originated with rappers like Cam’ron and Othorized F.A.M.; and “fuccboi,” which originated in the black fashion community, and which points to, as Julianne Escobedo Shepherd has noted, someone…

A-yep. I wouldn’t sell it for a new kidney, though.

The growing American institution of suspicious police violence against young black people has finally overlapped with the classic American institution of college football. The results should be very interesting, as many Americans will now be forced to grapple with the question of which institution they value more.

I don’t know what to tell ya, other than this was over 10 years ago and the price tag said $60.

I got mine for about $60 at the local Wal-Mart, and it really took the edge off a time of total despair in my life. I’d lost everything else, but I got to take my childhood hero home.

I am stealing the fuck out of that burn. So delicious; you are an artist.

In Hollywood, nobody is ever finished. Well, maybe Bill Cosby.

Honestly, I don’t even get hung up on the armor designs anymore, they change so often it’s not worth the mental energy. It’s nice, but I won’t get attached.

Just like Sofia Vergara.

Grown adults who still feel the reflexive urge to tell others what language to use are people who probably fapped their way through about half of 1984 back in middle school.

I feel ya. I watched somebody die from cancer once. It ain’t even a little bit romantic.

THE DIFFICULTY of VOLCANIC ROCK ISLANDS

Aaaaaaaaaaand gif stolen. Thanks!

It’s funny because they’re destroying their own political machine from the inside out, yet utterly convinced that, by divine right, global conquest sits comfortably in the palms of their hands, only waiting to be grasped.