I get you.

Hey, Juli...

Ehh, you could both do worse. I’m a lousy cook, but I do laundry and work out.

May as well.

Whaddyaknow? Gay marriage equality may have just given print media a new lease on life!

They always were. Always will be.

Guess who’s out of a job next election cycle?

Oh come on; it’s my day off!

God, please tell me they connect you to The A-Team!

Pee, then you’re good to drive. Bring a roadie, though, don’t want these tears to go to waste!

If I were gay, I’d marry the living shit outta you.

Black magic, baby.

I don’t wanna “kill you now.”

Just think of their barely-sentient, quasi-verbal existential torment as the sprinkles atop the righteous frosting of your Victory Cake!

I don’t know who or what organization he works for... but he’s incredibly fired, right? Right?!?

I just can’t understand how a brain that malformed and under-powered has kept him alive for so long. It’s a true mystery of science.

Really, what the hell can he do? Go on a cross-country bigamy spree?

This is a gang of ugly bullies finally getting the shit beat out of them in front of their posses (posseses? Possii?). It’s good and right to celebrate the fall of a bully, especially when you’ve been bullied. Say whatever you will about America; we’re never gonna be perfect in any way. But one of our best traits as a…

Somewhere, Mitch McConnell just started softly weeping.

Goddamn!