More like Ol' Gil Gunderson, but with more unfounded confidence. That would basically be the Monorail guy, wouldn't it? Carry on, then.

I'll never know you, but I'll always love you.

This is the only Palin-centered reality show I would watch!

I thought I heard the sound of Stewart's erection sproinging!

Tea Partiers also eat boogers.

Well, it would bring Lisa Ann out of ill-considered retirement.

Not gonna lie to you. I'd still hit that.

I'm an animal, Greg; can you make a stew out of me?

Romney is already scheduled to "emerge as the clear frontrunner."

I always wanted to get my hands on a Teddy Ruxpin and load him with a George Carlin tape.

It is situations like this that make me want to become a US citizen just to not vote for her.

I love it; they think they're gearing up to storm the White House in 2016 with a rogue's gallery of buffoons that would make Aquaman piss himself laughing but they can't ever seem to do it without first immediately dissolving into a senseless melee of infighting for some imagined "Alpha" status.

Huckabee takes gravy in his coffee.

Hey!

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the only possible result of the GOP's mad dream of enforced eugenics!

And fapping to her on his iPod in the Daily Show greenroom.

Especially crimes against what must be a stunningly intricate system of trusses and scaffolding keeping his bloated self from erupting out of that suit like The Incredible Hulk after a year-long milkshake and cheesecake diet.

Your move, Travis.

I got out in '98, and eventually came to appreciate the town for what it is: where I grew up. Been back a few times since and in adulthood the cult-like aspects of The Team, and Saint Joe bothered me less, I could look past it. Like you, I had no idea what had gone on all those years and now it stains every memory. I…