Might as well, they seem like the kind of dunces who leave every other significant issue in life in the hands of Jesus.

Haven't seen Milty yet; could someone get up on the roof and light the giant cock-shaped signal?

Masturbating. Can't you hear the muted panting and demonic giggling? Or at least the sound of their wrist tendons creaking from the ferocious effort?

Then you could teach her some actual gun safety in case she ever for when she inevitably stumbles across your firearm.

I came to that realization at the start of my sophomore year there.

Excellent; stealing brototypical.

What if she rammed it through his heart?

God help her to wash out all that gross bronzer and whiskey-sweat.

No need to thank me, citizen. Wherever there's a tired soul in need of a cheap laugh, I'll be there. Now, off I go, to my next adventure!

Speak for yourself pal, it's where I wear mine!

Having a miscarriage is just proof that you didn't want the baby enough so God decided not to let you keep it, and not wanting the baby is practically the same thing as having an abortion and everyone knows abortion is murder. The previous sentence is a paraphrase of an actual thing an actual person said to my…

I was just coming here to say this, only with far less eloquence and diplomacy.

Isn't Zeus dating J-Law now? I'm way behind on my celeb gossip.

The Most Embarrassing Person You've Ever Had Sex With

You have to understand, the only vaginas with which these particular old, white gentlemen have ever had any experience were dry and unwilling.

Unicorn meat is a well-kept secret staple of upper-echelon GOP dinner parties.

The senior-level aide said the Republican lawmakers argue that enacting a ban with only a formal exemption could further dissuade rape victims from coming forward.

Can't wait for coverage of the celebratory riots!

Normal, sane people always seem to forget or ignore what history has proven at every turn. People in positions of power in the business of entertainment are -to a man- unrepentant sociopaths. Power, prestige and especially the money are what matters. Simple human decency is merely an affectation to be worn like a…

She's already outwitted by the single chair she sits on every night.