iwascorporatereject
IWasCorporateReject
iwascorporatereject

Fifty Shades of ohGOD DON'T MAKE ME VISUALIZE THAT!!!

I like the way Kal Penn thinks. Fresh hot sandwiches for all!

Dear Pastor Ray,

Or she just ends up standing there in her undies.

Astonishing and awesome!

The way I look at it, they're all as nuts as he is. Plus, he got holodeck time with Counselor Troi. FTW, I believe is the expression.

Well honestly, who could ever hope to compete with Howlin' Mad?

I've had diarrhea all weekend. #RupertsFault

When you discover the answer, you will be ready to leave this temple.

Shoulda kept your guard up!

If they'd all just stopped whatever mayhem they were up to and listened to the Oompa-Loompas in attendance, they just might have learned something.

*Warbles mournfully, off-key* A real american herooo...

.... were you saving it for later?!?

Happened to my brother; he wound up getting a prednisone shot in the ass, was laid up for days.

Something something, 12-inch sausage.

You're Mr. Fantastic, and Doctor Doom ducked!

If Kate Walsh's Ribbon Candy Dress is bubble gum or watermelon flavored, then HELL NAH; I'm out. No way.

She looks kinda like how I'd look in that dress and I'm 47.

Only if your mindset is toxic; remember it's mood slime.