SO much easier to be like that when they're dead though.

I'm going to stop defending my choices to assholes and just start using the simple but brilliant sign off "because fuck you that's why."

I... I've already said too much.

It is almost never an option. Publically releasing the names of winners is an anti-fraud measure.

Step number one: Abandon home (seriously, it'll be a media circus) and find nice hotel to live in for the immediate future.

As one of four children raised by a single mother and the not-proud owner of a spectacularly infuriating deadbeat dad, not at all.

Yes, there's a decent chance of this. But there's also a chance they'll be able to replace the leaking roof. Pay the church secretary who has always had to volunteer. Expand their soup kitchen. Dole out some emergency funds to the sick and elderly who are about to have some service or other cut off. Plenty of churches…

Is it misandry that I really hope there's a deadbeat dad in the picture that sees zero of this money?

That doesn't work as well as you'd think. It's a fixed annuity, which means if she dies in a year, the payments stop. There isn't any way to transfer the benefit of that unpaid money to her kids. The lump sum is how you get the maximum amount, unless you've been guaranteed another 50 years to live.

FUCK YES THIS IS WONDERFUL

good for her and her kids. I really hope she will find a good financial adviser.

Sometimes the universe isn't a complete fuck up

Aw, this is fabulous! I hope she gets herself something nice too, because honestly—was she chosen as a POSTER CHILD for cliche, shitty jobs? Like, she works at McDonalds: ok. She works at Walmart: ok.

BUT BOTH?

Girl. You deserve every cent of that. Every GD cent.

"You look tired" = "You look like shit"

I too suffer from blonde eyelash syndrome. I also have very fair, skin which ensures that the morning bags under my eyes are purple if I don't put on concealer. Add in ponytail and throw a knit cap over the whole thing so you can't see my hair, and people look generally concerned about whether I can make it to my…

Unreciprocated flirtatious winking is on that list.

Love this one. "Wow, you look so tired? Are you feeling okay?"

When I don't wear mascara people ask me if I'm dying of stage 4 cancer, so Uma, I feel yew heavy.

Years ago when the book came out and I saw that it was emotional and physcial violence being portrayed as BDSM my best friend who is unashamedly devoted to the series said I was just a prude who could learn a thing or two from the books. It's like, honey you do not know my browsing history. Being disgusted by…

Yes, Fifty Shades of Grey is more appalling than appealing. It's domestic violence dressed up as erotica.