Seems legit! :)

Chicks dig him. And by chicks, I mean literally baby chickens.

There has to be some part that initiates excruciately painful sex with him and bites harder if he doesn't smile and submit.

with scorpion tails

But don’t try this at home kids! According to neurobiologists, the brain is inhibitory in invertebrates like but is excitatory in vertebrates like us mammals.

Turning this guy’s dick to stone is much too beneficial for the guy - it is still theoretically a useable organ. I’d go for the pillar of salt. Much more frangible, and it would melt away with the first shower.

Is it just me or does the actress to the right in Bette Midler’s clip look like she has a boner resting down the middle of her chest? It looks...confident as well.

in the spirit of compromise...

Maybe his theory is that actual trained seals killed Osama, not Navy SEALS. Wake up sheeple!

Better to set off the "Talking Points". It does remind me a little of AA Milnes' use of capitals in Winnie the Poo.

Two new themes have emerged in my scan of the comments:

With a blunt, serrated, rusty instrument

Are you talking about "Six Blind Mice Over America"?

Maybe its like that Seinfeld episode when George decided to do the exact opposite of what he thought he should do and succeeded fabulously.

I do think pushing is the operative word here. Its one thing to have something audible sneak out the back door, but people from good homes try to modulate flow rate to achieve silent release. Clearly the rising up demonstrated intent. She was clearly squeezing one off audibly to show who was boss.

I hear there's a lot of open-carry dildos down in Austin recently...

If Camelbaks had been invented then, that photo may have gone much differently! "Shitshow Candelabra"

Maybe it was a crossover

What with global warming and all the whole brimstone thing has been greened up. They just use red flashlights or something now.

What with global warming and all the whole brimstone thing has been greened up. They just use red flashlights or…

Amen, brother/sister. Duct tape cures all ills. Duct tape makes the impossible possible. I knew a guy that got stuck in the desert and fashioned freaking BRAKE PADS for his car out of duct tape to get him home. Truly a divinely inspired material.

Amen, brother/sister. Duct tape cures all ills. Duct tape makes the impossible possible. I knew a guy that got stuck…