I think I QUIT Twitter longer than two years ago.

Lies. He was mine.

Exactly! Twitter had not yet introduced the innovative idea that #blacklivesmatter. Therefore, how could they possibly have known? Also, I love how they are referring to two years ago as “the beginning of this social era”. It is super depressing though that it sounds like their immediate surroundings are so thoroughly…

Extreme eye roll and head shake. Youths.

Oh my god, the dogs are dissolving!

I feel like every time someone apologizes for something really incredibly racist and/or sexist, they’re really just saying “sorry I’m too stupid to keep my views off social media where people who don’t agree with me might see it.”

I regret 3 years of wearing a fedora almost every day.

I was in grad school in 2006-2008 and we were talking about how teachers were getting into trouble with social media. What is this girl talking about?

Why. WHY would you regret saying that? I was going to marry Simon LeBon so we could totally have hung out on tour!

Yeah I mean who had even heard of Twitter all those TWO years ago?!

Agreed. When will people understand that making excuses for their actions is not the same as apologizing? Fuck.

Now Student #2 needs to apologize for her apology. She needs to apologize for “you will never meet a human being with as much unconditional love and kindness in their heart as me,” she needs to apologize for “that was two whole years ago! Racism didn’t exist back then,” but, above all, she needs to apologize for this:

At this time in our lives, racism was not the talk of the country nor had we ever witnessed the true power of social media, twitter was still fresh and we had never heard of anyone getting in trouble for posting anything on social media, it was the beginning of this social era.

Worst. Apology. Ever.

I have never been so utterly humiliated and ashamed in my entire life, because if you know me, you know you will never meet a human being with as much unconditional love and kindness in their heart as me.

I wish people could just own their mistakes.

The only lip color that looks good on me is the taint I get when I eat hot food cooked in olive oil.