That woman had beautiful eyebrows... Until Obamacare took them and grafted them onto an illegal immigrant.

I generally consider Baptists, reformed and Pentecostals to be evangelical protestants and Methodists, Lutherans, and Episcopalians to be “normal” protestants. It may seem like I am splitting hairs, but I never had a Methodist, Lutheran, or Episcopalian pastor tell me my gay cousin was going to hell, I’m sinning…

“Over 7,000 Catholic nuns..”

I never understood why he took the job. Can’t these rich fuckers just go somewhere and enjoy being rich? God wealth is wasted on the rich.

I saw a “Bernie 2016" bumper sticker today and I audibly gasped when it hit me how slow 2017/Trumps reign as the biggest boy is dragging on...

He’s basically saying that it’s okay to shoot people you disagree with politically.

“Some of the people that are opposed to this, there are female senators from the Northeast... If it was a guy from South Texas, I might ask him to step outside and settle this Aaron Burr-style,”

three “female senators from the Northeast,”

The thing is he ISN’T a real believer, he’s just really good at being an opportunist.

You’re just saying that because you don’t like feral dogs.

Still better than any given Ja Rule event.

Dump has the best jump shot and he totally doesn’t have a small weenie

What is it with these assholes and skin the hue of a radioactive orange rind.

I saw the live footage of the landing and him walking out. It was glorious. I was 5, but I was still excited.

I can honestly say I was alive before men walked on the moon. Sure, it was for less than a year, but that counts!

You believe that the moon is “real” in the first place?

How is babby formed?

Sessions has to stay. If he left, and tried to go back to his old seat, he would have to fight incumbent Senator Luther Strange, who at 6 feet 9 inches, is the tallest member of the Senate.

Took my kids to watch Jurassic Park in the Park last summer. Bought some snacks, brown bagged some wine, rented one of those stupid blow up couch things that look vaguely like a vagina that I had never even seen before last summer which now appear to be taking over the world, and settled in for the movie, only for my…