What. Happens. To. Them. When. They. Fail. To. Meet. The. Fucking. Deadline. 

I’m 6'2 and 235 - and need to lose 30 lbs or so. There is literally no way that Mr Trump is less than 270 if he is 6'2 or 3.

I like the Kardashians, but putting a filter on that baby, in her very first public debut, makes me so so sad deep inside. This filter literally adds eyelashes, freckles and a soft glow to a brand new baby’s face. For what purpose?

I know exactly how to stay monogamous in a partially long-distance relationship: Don’t become romantically involved with other people.

Great, now my eyes have chlamydia.

[sonorous fart noise]

I feel like plaid and camouflage are two streams that definitely shouldn’t have been crossed.

That guy looks like he’s 80.

@ArielWray

Ok, name all 100,000 please. Ranked by importance.

Trump is like a reverse racoon.

People can care about multiple things.

No, this Administration only likes Americans who weren’t caught by hurricanes.

Think it’s better to not die at all.

Off on a tangent, but Man on Fire > Taken.

“What do you get when your pres. is a creep?”

JUSTICE FOR BABA YAGA

Every year around Easter a shop would set up a giant bunny statue in their window. Whenever we passed the store my grandma would stop and look at it with me. She told me that this was the real Easter bunny, but he couldn’t move when someone was looking at him (a bit like a weeping angel I just realized). After that…

I’m hearing from an anonymous source close to the issue that Ivanka has always had her heart in the right place and that she’s just a baby bird, why are you all being so hard on her, she’s just trying to do her best, and aren’t we all just trying our best? Really I’m just like all of you guys, and frankly i’m…