So I guess I really should watch this show then, huh?

Friday the 13th.

This man started a fucking school? For education? I would love to hear from someone who thought sending their kid to this (presumed) shithole was a brilliant idea.

Oh my god, seriously. Just because she also hates Iggy Azalea doesn't mean she's awesome. The enemy of my enemy is sometimes still just a huge fucking douchebag.

Hi, can people stop defending Azealia Banks NOW?

Those are burrowing owls. They are somewhat active during the day.

Personally, I think these owls have the sickest moves:

He looks exactly like my friend Misty when she got super drunk at Grad Night and saw her ex kissing a girl from another school and cried through her mascara and wiped her eyes like "Whatever. I'm fine! Let's go on Space Mountain!" And then she threw up.

I did notice they continue to perpetuate the incorrect assertion that the pits will keep the guac from browning. SO not true.

Next: Taylor Swift trademarks the odd mix of shame and joy that I get when singing along to the "This Sick Beat™" section of "Shake It Off."

Taylor, Prince would like to have a word with you.

According to TMZ, Tamika Fuller (pictured above on the far right) says the rapper-cum-actor initially wanted her to abort their daughter Cai Bridges when she told him she was pregnant. Fuller says he "offered her $10,000 and a house if she lost the baby."

They are all terrible with their weird blonde Targaryen hair. :)

It's like house keys, a wallet, or a sense of shame. If you make sure to leave it in the same place every time, you'll be sure to find it when you need it.

Flushing tampons down the toilet is the real horror here. NOT SO SEXY WHEN YOU HAVE POOP WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A PLUMBER ON THE PHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CHRISTIAN, EH?

You mean the... Bey Watch?

I thought maybe he meant they were a pre-op FTM, so dude would be correct, but probably not. I would still take that over being hateful, but...ehhh.

So close, Flea. C-