and i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 4,349 to fall down at your door gasping "please marry me, i am so desperate for attention"

Break out the fresh sheets, Bedelia! We're going to have Colonel Angus tonight!

I see what you did there...... It needs more Colonel Angus!

I feel like I need to confess something. So uh, help me father for I have sinned, or some shit.

Katlick Everypeen?

baby groot

• Your Pee After You Run a Marathon

Reaching for the positive in this story: ROCK ON, OKLAHOMA KNITTING FEMINISTS.

Hey now, let's not bring Emmett Kelly into this, he's a legend and a goddamned hero.

Bruce was always my favourite Kardashian.

It's really a damned shame MSNBC cancelled his talk show - it was one of the best in years, where people actually discussed concepts and issues and told stories beyond do selling their latest product.

I'm never not wearing my nipple flowers.

Yes it is.

right, 16 is not young.

Same, but instead of those women on it, I'd want one full of Terry Crews and his muscles.

I'll be honest, 10/10 would wear that shirt.

Making fun of this shirt was a thing on @Midnight last night on Comedy Central. Are these same people going to send death threats Chris Hardwick's and Bob Odenkirk's way?

Why didn't they just call it Insurgent? This is a dumb title. I am annoyed. I'm also in the middle of reading Allegiant and I'm already annoyed. Also, per the book, it's not a fear landscape, but it is a simulation.