God, I wish people on Jezebel could go four seconds without advocating for men's rights. giveitarest.

^Obv pregnant, too

I think Simon's face there just pregnanted me a smidge.

They misspelled "endeavor." Was that the real test? Did I win?

Was pretty sure these were dix upon first glance.

Don't we also have pretty high infant mortality?

Well, your middle grade (which I assume is something like middle school) self is smarter than most Americans.

"...one of the dead male models at the beginning of Zoolander...."

That's a Twix.

I just like how he was apparently allowed to leave his sunglasses on. I'm doing that for my next passport photo.

'slike raaay-yee-yaaaaain!

The original song is ironic though: what's more ironic than a song called "Ironic" that contains no irony? A little too ironic...

"... it itches like a porky pine...."

Tasteless, but someone had to say it. I applaud you for reminding us we're still technically on the internet.

That's what everyperson says: "You'll know when you see one" or "Here's a picture of one," but I say "I have facebook, I'm pretty sure I've already seen every type of baby in ever" or "Nope, that's adorable. I want to buy her/him a cute hat or rain slicker or something."

I've never been able to tell what an "ugly" baby looks like. They don't all look alike or anything, they just all look like babies. They're all pretty cute. Actually any really young thing is cute. Bats, fish, trees. Whatever. Love each other.

I am fully rejoicing. The writing and delivery is just as good as its always been. As well as the new running gags (noodle stab, same, so we have it, etc.)

Pretty sure it's hyperbole, friend.

And the other non-American places that speak American.

Preach! That's the same reason I won't play "Ecco the Dolphin" anymore.