Marriage is betting half your shit that you’ll love someone for the rest of your life. I say that as a happily married man who usually gets smacked for saying those kinds of things.

Look I’m not saying Jim Harbaugh doesn’t deserve to be on this list, but Jim Harbaugh really had himself a crazy year. It’d be dumb to count out Jim Harbaugh though, don’t sleep on him!

Wait a damn minute, a “rotary”? Isn’t it a roundabout? Or is that a filthy British word? I’m confused and scared.

The resemblance is uncanny.

Keurigs suck. But I also think coffee is a trash beverage, so I don’t even know what I’m doing here.

Albertville still has the best outlet mall in the state....so they got that going for them.

I have never been so pissed off at an article that I had to sit and punch out a few hundred words on my phone’s e-mail app. I think the butthurt motivation must be high to do that.

My wife and I joke that arguing over Billy Idol’s best song will cause our divorce. I’m on the side of Eyes Without a Face. She sides with Dancing With Myslef.

Yeah we always called it “Feces Pizza”.

But seriously New York style pizza is the worst. Papa Murphy’s is delicious but you know, gotta cook it yourself. I just recently had Marco’s and was kinda “meh” about it to be honest!

TL;DR, going to hell.

Junior mints are garbage.

He may have slapped some balls on that one. Bad form, dangerously low on the slap, and too close to the middle. Pick a cheek bro.

Oh god what have I done...

Didn’t Kim Jong Il shoot an 18 on 18 holes once? Our tyrant can’t even finish under par! Sad!

My grandfather is just Papa, but my grandmother (RIP) was Hot Shot. From the day I could talk I knew my grandmother as Hot Shot. I always forget the story behind it, but we grew up in Texas, so it probably had something to do with shootin’ guns.

The NFL is cowardly and shitty. It would be a great sight, and a statement bigger than kneeling or arm-locking during the anthem, if black players, or at least a great majority of them, decided to just not play for a week. I mean I get all the financial and punitive consequences of a player doing this, but still, if…

I never understood the davenport thing. Isn’t that just old people? Even in my family, the old folks never called it a davenport though. I’m a southerner with a long stretch of Midwest living, and now in California, so maybe I missed the regions where it’s prevalent?

Don’t you dare get duck near my tater-tot hot dish. The ingredients are: tater tots, cream of mushroom soup, green beans, ground beef, and salt.

Um, actually, I prefer it when kids play “Duck, Duck, Also Duck because who are YOU to assume the race or color of the third duck for purposes of your little game, check your privilege and stop appropriating duck culture”.