That was hilarious. I did really laugh out loud.

I get that this is costume makeup but I just. What the FUCK is up with brows these days. Why. What. WHY are people accentuating their brows more than anything else on their face?!?!

I’ve been a Gawker Media reader & lurker for the past 6, 7 years. I’ve stuck with you guys through thick and thin, reading here almost daily even through the Hulk Hogan debacle.

I’ve been a Gawker Media reader & lurker for the past 6, 7 years. I’ve stuck with you guys through thick and thin,…

Man, I’d hate to think what they’re doing in the town of Mean.

You know what, this week I legit crushed a man. Some guy wrote an paper attacking a paper I wrote, so I replied with a sternly worded letter to the journal’s editor. In it I crushed all his arguments, and let him know that I called a bunch of other scientists and they agree with me not him.

Nobody fucks with DeJesus.

COMMUNISM IS INFECTING OUR BREEDING STOCK

Yom Kippur-Coachella. Think about it. We could make a killing.

Even better...Ramadan Bonnaroo. We could call it....Ramadannaroo.

Abstinence is the only effective form of birth control? They’re saying this so close to Christmas?

UH OH IT COMES IN TURQUOISE. DANGER DANGER.

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”

You don’t understand my issue- what if the fetus has complications that will kill it, in and around birth? I’m a lot heartier than my fetus right now, and I know I don’t have congenital genetic abnormalities.

Just to clarify, in case you’re like, “Is my green tea covered in hepatitis? Am I hepatitis? Everything is hepatitis!”

Hepatitis just means liver inflammation. So there’s all kinds- viral, toxic, etc etc. So, she didn’t catch hepatitis from anything, she developed it after forcing her liver to filter so much garbage…

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

How do you get Dairy Queened from a tournament?

With the new progestins, the changed generations of these things, they re-patent them. They’re getting more and more dangerous.

Lemme try and explain this in a way that you might, maybe, sort of get.