This isn’t a terrible story, but here it goes.

Holy wobblin’ crawdaddies.

 No date stories, but when is the scary stories contest? I told a bit of my story in another account I lost the password to, but...I’ve never discussed it all. Honestly it was quite awful.

No strawman. Your words. Your disgusting, disgusting words, preserved here in image form.

super appreciate that everyone just understood my bad run on typo and to “who” for gently reminding me that it was Portland not Seattle.

Yeah, admiration isn’t it. They were afraid of someone ruining their careers.

I don’t get the PRAISE for this apology that I am seeing here, there and everywhere on social media. CK issued a good apology because he was already outed, after years of gaslighting the public about these “ridiculous!!!!” claims and maybe blacklisting a woman comedian who said they were true? Fuck all that noise.…

A hefty FU to the multitudes of Gawker/Jezebel readers who flooded my comment a year or two ago angry because I said this guy’s brand of anti-sexist anti-racist comedy was itself sexist, racist and not particularly funny. I believed the rumors from the start. Also, as a man myself, believe me when i say C.K. is a…

I legit keep forgetting she’s a member of this administration. The person who’s job is to liaise and communicate with the public is barely visible (which is honestly probably for the best), not to mention just as tacky and self-serving as every other White House employee working for Trump.

I mean, so I am. But there were literally no requirements beyond access to the Internet.

her 39-person bridal party

I love that bravery was rewarded with delicious, local ice cream.

I believe my mom brought back something with her when she had major surgery in 2012. She was very... off for a while, the bathroom light switch would lower to turn out the light when I was in the tub several times (it wouldn’t be one of the bulbs going out or a flicker, the switch would actually go down, but only when…

THAT IS HORRIBLE. I’m so sorry that that happened and so glad that you were ok.

Who’s a good god? Is it you? Yes it is, you good little god!

Wanna be in a band called Mom’s Good Bra with me?

We had squirrels in our attic a couple years ago (took a couple weeks to trap them all). One thing you touched on that I learned from the experience was that, while I’m not normally afraid of squirrels, it is unbelievably terrifying to find one IN YOUR HOUSE. At one point during the ordeal, I opened the hall closet…

Let’s rewind the clock back to 2008. The world was less (visibly) crazy, less (visibly) hateful. I was also a teenager. I had just fallen in love with smart cars.

I’ve been waiting on this! Yay!

I am far from my nieces and nephews and sibs. It frickin’ kills me. I visit as often as I can and am the emotional/financial support for them all.