My mother had it emphatically recommended by some of her coworkers.

I can't NOT hear "oh jeez" in Frances McDormand's voice.

I can feel myself quicken.

I feel like this should've been a scene from a Seinfeld episode, not erotic fiction.

This is exactly it -except I can guarantee that E.L James did not even bother to watch some kink.com before hand. She's not kinky IRL at all which is confirmed by her rather uncomfortably under the spotlight husband, and I think a lot of this is wish fulfillment and fantasy and that's exactly how it reads. The…

Better than red?

I lost it three seconds in at that nonchalant broken arms pose.

my only thought was "why is her string blue?"

Her using the words "biscuit line" is clearly code for all the olds who recall The Great Depression. It's near-gibberish to everyone else. The rest of us can be told "I worked at Hardees, eh." and we understand. Her faux-home shucksiness blows goats. I could totally see her spewing something like, "I manned the cheese…

#BreadBags

That's how my uncle is. He grew up with blue collar Democrat parents, then became an IV drug addict in the 1960s and 1970s and took advantage of every social program he possibly could. But now that he's married to a rich woman, he's a raving right wing republican. My Busia, who doesn't have a mean bone in her body,…

The twitterers are killing it tonight.

When she said that she only had one pair of shoes, one of my coworkers said (in a Forrest Gump voice) "Them was my magic shoes." It took a few minutes of laughing before we got back to normal.

The hell with shoes — how much to buy those Iowa children a copy of Lou Reed's Transformer and a bus ticket to Rockford?

THAT IS FIRST PENNY SHE EVER EARNED! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD SHE WORKED TO EARN THAT FIRST PENNY?!!! GUYS SHE HAD TO WEAR BREAD BAGS FOR SHOES WHILE SHE SOLD BISCUITS AND CASTRATED HOGS AND PLOWED THE FIELDS. THERE IS NOTHING MORE PATRIOTIC THAN SAVING A PENNY.

Bag of flour. That's being generous. Sacks of something tend to come to mind when I think about most of these politicians.

I feel like a terrible person for saying this *but*...

<-Literally all anyone will remember from her response.

Pretty much nothing she said was of value. Okay, you wanna talk about your priorities? Fine. But at least DO that. This was just a bunch of "nice sounding" bullshit - like, even more bullshit than these speeches are in general. No one fucking cares about your part time job in high school or your bread bag shoes.

It really does not matter who gives the Republican response, what their words are, or how they say them. You could have a human-sized bag of flour just stand there for five minutes and Republicans would still praise it as giving a better speech than Obama. Partisanship and ideology make everything, including talking,…