This is the worst of all.

I’m high, right? I must be high. Maybe I’ve heard that song “Easy Street” one too many times in my cell. That has to be it.

I worked at Starbucks corporate. They are great to their employees. Seriously.

I take it I missed my chance for an election-themed “See you next Tuesday”?

This is some Missing 411 stuff.

He has such an unfortunate real-life last name that I always said it when he appeared: “BLUcas.” In the vein of “Hello, NEWman.”

And the blooming onions. And watching Passions.

Yeah, I’m bummed that this one was so obviously fiction and still won. I couldn’t vote for that one. It was well written, but obviously didn’t really happen. I want real unexplained occurences, not creepypasta.

Oh man, which tract was this? I want to read it.

That’s what Paulie Walnuts called Sally O’Malley on SNL.

On the other hand, learning to play any instrument in your 40s (50s?) is a daunting task, so I have to at least give her credit for trying.

Oh, man. PLEASE share photos when this is done.

Thanks! And HANG IN THERE. Any kind of major change is so hard, and takes a lot of courage.

Congrats! Impressive! Also, now I crave Doritos and Fresca.

I think mainly it was the job. I had come off a few months where my own business was not making much money, and I kind of knee-jerk took a full-time job thinking it would help me feel more connected and capable, and instead it turned out to be absolutely soul-killing work with a side of ageism and condescension: “You…

“I would bust that tight pussy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week”

NOOOOOo

I quit my job, stopped drinking, went to a financial planner, began working out again, and got into counseling with my husband, and also turned 50. Might as well do all the hard things in 2016.

HOW COULD YOU EVEN PUT SUCH A THING INTO WRITING?

This kind of brought tears to my eyes.