I think this same sentiment applies when dating too...

It’s just the opposite. This will be the most satisfying rebuild you’ve ever done when it’s finished. But you will have to abandon your timeline, it’s an endurance race, not a sprint. You’ll just frustrate yourself if you try and run this job with a timeline.
But when you are done and have overcome these problems…

Some of those ‘80's girls, who are now 50, are still quite hot. It’s a different generation than their parents were at 50...

Yes, the song too...but it was the attack on Dan Rather by a guy who lined his entire apartment in tinfoil (literally) because he thought TV broadcasters were beaming a mind control wave into his apartment. They caught him years later, and he was as you might expect, mentally insane.

He kept shouting “Kenneth, what’s…

Yes, I did confuse it, I see what you did there now. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go sniff some unburnt hydrocarbons.

Take a ride with me in my M5, then say that...

What’s the frequency, Kenneth??!!

(look that up if you don’t know...)

And based on what the two guys in the picture are wearing, it makes the entire concept all that less appealing...

And the “dead cell” issue is troublesome. I’m guessing this is more of an issue of “I can’t fix it so let’s write a nice ad in CL for some sucker”.

Ok, but I prefer to get my information from the article I’m reading, not spending time to do the research to back up the claims.
And yes, Dinan upgrades are expensive, I can attest though that they are rock solid reliable and do get you the claimed HP bump, without wild unverified claims.

Although $1500 for the turbo…

“...the tuner company can just fit an aftermarket ECU, bigger turbo, bigger intercooler, cold-air intake, throat-clearing stainless steel exhaust and viola- $7,000 later...”

Are you confident it’s only $7k for the turbo, intake, tune, brakes, exhaust and suspension? I used to own an 1997 E39 Dinan5 I had built by Steve Dinan years ago and all the Dinan parts were WAY(!) more expensive than that, and it didn’t include a turbo. And that was almost 20 years ago.

That said, I loved that car,…

Don’t forget Peter Thiel...

Or this...

“Damari Wayne” Yep...

But...but...you have to blame Brexit! It’s in the daily script of things to blame!

Seriously though, you are quite right, Brexit is the excuse, not the reason, for selling these clunkers.

Tesla’s are $100,ooo supercars, most anyone who owns one has another, or three, car(s). It’s no different in concept than a Lamborghini, it just uses a different propulsion method. 
And, just like you don’t see other supercars out on the road either, Tesla owners take out their giant $90k Escalades when the snow flies.

“You don’t just hear the cars. You feel them in your bones.”

Don’t laugh...those Yamaha sleds were quite something back in the day. We did most all of that (except the insane jump) and they just kept on running.

Yep, Brexit was the excuse, not the reason.