Dogs fucking up on agility courses—

I always mistake your avatar to be a shaggy-haired white dog with a black nose.

I love how you make this the focal point and you don’t even mention how, after the play, the back helmsman decapitated 17 geese with his longsword to secure 15 toggle points, which, by the way, the priest converted easily into 2 victory runes.

“You have dealt with an unbelievable slanted and negative media and have come out beautifully” sounds 0% like something Bill Belichick would say, and 100% like something Donald Trump would say while reading a blank page he is pretending is a letter from Bill Belichick.

That would be Mario Kart.

It’s almost like this guy is an incorrigible shitbag.

That’s an incredible ERA, but I’m going to take a hard pass on fucking you all the same.

You are overrating Hogan and Underrating Bennett.

Ahh, Florida State fans. It’s like if Notre Dame fans were bad at spelling.

Hell. Book them straight to hell one way.

Doin’ the Lord’s work, fellas

This is a real shrewd way to stick it to the bosses. Good on you guys, Deadspin.

Do these Cardinals fans responses count as reading a book?

He should talk to this guy:

The hell with the black boxes. Why is his right forearm bright orange?!

I always drink a beer after a long run.

“I was at a casino, standing by the door, and the security guy came over and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move. You’re blocking the fire exit.’ As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.” - Mitch Hedberg

So am I, because a guy from Boston rooting for the Steelers is automatically an asshole in my book.