Listen, I’m just glad you overcame your stroke and can use a keyboard again. I’m sure your tastebuds will come back eventually.

*Googles Zork*

Also:

Two thoughts come to mind.

He looks like someone who gives amazing hugs.

He looks like you could flip his beard and head hair and there would be little difference.

Kitchen sink: [falls off, shatters]

I’ll tell them what. I’ll stop using the API scanners as soon as they fix the fucking 3-step bug. How about that?

As a human that has gotten his hand stuck in a Pringles can, I am in no position to judge. Solidarity, stupid jarhead bear.

Sir, I don’t believe you get Deadspin...

Fitzpatrick played quarterback at Harvard. It’s rarely mentioned when talking about him, just thought you’d like to know.

“I got a fire alarm at home, but really it’s more like a 9-volt battery slowly drainer. ‘Do you want to slowly get rid of your 9-volt batteries? Then buy this circle.’”- Mitch Hedberg

If they get past Ecuador, and I think they will, they’ll still need to get past Argentina or Chile.

“I wish I’d never been so athletic and handsome!”

Because if there was ever a company that believed in creating a global and universal standard, it’s Apple...

If that’s how they’re gonna be about it, you could always just stop showing up one day.

Leading causes of death in Russia (per capita):

More evidence. My beagle as a young man in a batman shirt.

Deep from the terrifying bowels of Mt Shitty Take; Geoffrey Redick appears.

No country can have more than 5. If say United finish 4th and City win the Champions League, United drop down into the Europa League.

Not that this every needs a reason to be posted, but enjoy: http://quinnmedia.blogspot.com/2006/07/day-in…

I guessed correctly, which is a real waste of my luck allocation for the year.