“Damn right!”

That wouldn’t work because so many soccer players are European and clowns are actually respected in Europe (see: Lewis, Jerry).

If he does get fired it’s not like any other high profile soccer head coaching gigs opened up that he was qualified for whilst he was failing in Wales.

Looks like the eligible items page is back up!

Looks like the eligible items page is back up!

Same.

Same.

I bet the jetpack would stop the train.

Oh, good. Now there are TWO HamNos on Deadspin. Bring on the FUNBAG!

Me: @WhitlockJason Man who the fuck are you?

@WhitlockJason to me: I am a sports journalist. I co-hosts the daily sports TV show Speak For Yourself alongside Colin Cowherd on Fox Sports 1. I was a former sportswriter for ESPN and a former columnist at the Kansas City Star, AOL Sports and Foxsports.com, as well as a…

My friends, if I could give all of you the vending machine twofer, I would. Changed my whole outlook on life.

This never gets mentioned anywhere, but while we’re talking about Harvard and football, did anyone know Jets sort-of QB Ryan Fitzpatrick went there?

To put things in a bit of perspective, if they do wind up moving to a new arena, the Coyotes will have had as many homes as the Boston Bruins have.

Umbra’s Twilight Rod takes your curtains from the windows to the wall

Umbra’s Twilight Rod takes your curtains from the windows to the wall

Their losses would be a lot more if ESPN wasn’t basically mandatory with having cable. I’m not a cord cutter, nor have I really considered it, but if Comcast told me they’d knock a few bucks off my bill every month to not have ESPN I’d be falling all over myself to accept that deal.

From the same day, here’s a video of a woman in a Captain America suit crushing six beers to Stone Cold Steven Austin’s theme:

A blanket covered in small pox would have been more efficient.

Even more Drowzees?

Just going to go ahead and bring the Leafs fans down to Earth for a second.

They’ve been doing a lot during NFL games, which is why no one has seen the commercials.

This is 2003 Grady Little levels of fuck uppery.

Not NBC anchor Lester Holt, who is old and who scouts say has 55 command at best, barely fourth-starter potential.