Serena & Common >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Serena & Drake

Swatch says “meh.”

I’m giving you the 100 emoji right now. I will not see a Tom Cruise movie - he gives me the willies. But Beyonce’s ok, I guess.

omg she is the Tom Cruise of music, isn’t she? That’s perfect!

My grandmother convinced me that going outside with wet hair = instant influenza, if not worse.

Huh, you know I never thought about this before! That’s probably true, to a certain extent — she’s had a lot of first hand experience in the world. On the other hand, the self-sufficiency that travel teaches you, and the broadening of your mind that comes with interacting with other people from different cultures, is…

Except it seems like she is emphatically not doing everything she can to keep her private life private. She sends out “candid” pictures of herself and her family and friends to 30 million people every day. She made a documentary about herself and her life. Etcetera.

Last night as I was falling asleep I realized that it might seem like I was saying that no one gives a fuck about your wedding, LAUREN. Which would be really insulting and mean because I bet you’re a nice person. So I want to clarify that I mean the generic 2nd person, not you, and want to apologize if you took it…

No offense, but you’ll be dead so you won’t be disappointed by anything. And having a rifle that’s a family heirloom is an completely different situation than suddenly coming into an entire school bus full of guns that no one seems to know very much about.

I’m not sure you’re addressing the correct person, as I haven’t mentioned anything about used cars and/or irrational fears I may have (spiders, if you must know). You seem to be defensive where there is no offense.

if at all possible!

Clearly this is the best part! I would strap a guitar-playing blind guy to the front of the bus to make it extra-special.

Also somewhat tongue-in-cheek, since clearly no one is driving a school bus full of guns and ammo to a police station.

Good point, but you have to deduct the cost of the lawyer. Also, maybe you would rather have the guns “off the streets” as it were?

Or wait until your local PD has a gun buyback program - no questions asked! - and turn them all in.

Don’t think I’m shitting on weddings and the people who have them. Pretty sure I’m shitting on people who complain about how other people aren’t reacting the right way to their special day.

Buffets are the best! What you want, only what you want, and as much as you want of it. It’s the American Dream!

As far as I can tell, it’s a way-too-precious-for-real-life smug backyard DIY etsy wedding with mason jars. But it’s also a way to put down anyone who doesn’t spend a lot and doesn’t really care about fancy professional wedding stuff and make people who DO care about that stuff assuage their own feelings of…

“My theme is: don’t eat or drink so much that we can’t fuck like newlyweds later in the night”

Good comeback, for real. But I think you’re missing the point. Having a wedding-wedding is an ENORMOUS mark of privilege in addition to being a very public spectacle, and to complain that people aren’t celebrating you enough, or in the right way, is perhaps unrealistic.