On one hand, KC was down their #1 quarterback, #1 and #2 running backs, and #1 receiver, so the only remaining playmaker getting himself ejected in a game that wasn’t out of reach was incredibly dumb. And it’s going to open him up to lots of hot takes about his selfishness and attention-seeking because that sort of…

I thought being in possession of a towel meant that one didn’t panic.

Kelce: [mutters insult]

Well of course. Want the NFL’s attention? Wear brown socks with black shoes or something like that, and they’ll be up your ass within the hour.

“We think you’re shittier than Florida” is about the strongest burn I’ve ever heard of.

He’s totally right.

Are Raider fans really any worse than the fanbases for other NFL teams? I don’t think so. Case in point:

I crossed the rice mob once. Got mixed up in a turf war between “Uncle” Ben and the Roni family.

An angry Baylor fan went up to confront MOB members after the performance. Rice students calmed the situation and walked him to concourse

I'm guessing the Rice band won't even be invited to the Penn State game.

I know football fans in Texas, and everywhere in general, have very reasonable and level-headed takes when it comes to their teams and the sport, so I’m sure this will queue up some insightful, intelligent, polite conversation around the web.

This is how I’ve been closing every conversation.

Holy shit the Triceratops plowing the field one is even better.

HOLY SHIT I need this in shirt form

I think most are dead.

Guys, child slavery is really bad and I could’ve done more to fight against it, but I decided to focus on staying quiet because football.

WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO RELEASE AN UPDATE THAT INCLUDES TURNING THE PHONE INTO A GODDAMNED HIGH POWER FUCKING LASER?

They should be happy they don’t live on the Island of Sodor. You can’t go more that 100 feet without running into a train the railway network is that vast.