Out of respect, all local Taco Bells have ordered their flags to be flown at half más

A “shelled” pistachio means it has the shell removed. In yet another inexplicable quirk of the English language, to “shell”, verb, means to remove the shell from a nut, seed or pod. So perhaps his girlfriend assumed the shell had already been removed if he was referring to them as “shelled pistachio”?

Managing expectations for this team is like having a two year old. I know you’re going to shit your pants today but if you can manage to keep most of it in your diaper and off the walls we can call that a success. 

“I am looking for any and all Schutt Air Advantage Adult Large helmets that were manufactured in 2010 or after. I will trade a signed worn Steelers Head Coach jacket.”

+1 wife

Warning Shark

Guys, what if Left Shark wasn’t just screwing up her Super Bowl performance?

Katy Perry does. Didn't you read the article?

Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so alike. I’d like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can’t throw as fast as you but I think you’d be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me…

This is my chance to be the person that knows the niche sport and throws stuff out there no one gives a fuck about.

You can only hope to contain him.

Uh, actually yes, fuck anyone who supports Trump. I’m..a bit surprised that requires any kind of clarification.

I’ll never understand how people who make such a big deal about criminalizing abortion can turn a blind eye to people who are actually alive.

Clemson just put up a billboard with 19,001.

My conversation with Kenny, I asked him why he didn’t talk to the owner, why he didn’t talk to Steve [Ross] first before putting something out.

It’s Philly.  If these people stopped to help every drunk with a nosebleed they’ll never make it home.  

No, that’s a bitch move.  

Still the best:

Nah. It’s Crystal Gravy.