That shove under the car was brutal

Don’t turn around. Mark Wahlberg is behind you, and he is pissed.

“I’m wicked hydrated, thanks to TB12 wat-ah”

Not surprising. Boston fans are known for getting bombed at parades.

He doesn’t owe us an explanation.

Holy shit... how long have you had this prepared?!

That’s cool I cut my hand on my plastic starbucks lid and bled all over my khakis.

welcome back

I googled “Cougar Asphyxiation” and it took me here.  Not what I was looking for unfortunately.

• If you have small children with you, protect them by picking them up so they won’t panic and run.

Unlike in this story, I feel confident that you did not end up making her choke though.

I think I found his wallet:

I then also missed work today but that’s ok because it’s the biggest snow storm in Seattle in like 20 years, so everyone missed work.

I got wasted during the day and then slept through the game. I then also missed work today but that’s ok because it’s the biggest snow storm in Seattle in like 20 years, so everyone missed work.

Winners

The good news is, Ledet didn’t touch Walker once

I once paid money to see Emmanuel Lewis perform stand-up comedy.

Super Bowl XOXO

“The results speak for themselves” Sarah is right but not for the reasons she thinks 

It may seem like Kyrie is contradicting himself but it’s like the old saying goes, “There’s two sides to every planet.”