Yep, I think you’re exactly right, there. I’ve been thinking the same things since I read the state trooper is in jail for child porn.

My mom, and several aunties wear their hair long and thick. My moms hair is like this magical silver colored curtain with a few bright white streaks. It's beautiful. She usually braids it and pins it up and sometimes calls it her "witch hair" but she's deluded. Her hair is like an ancient river goddess more than a…

Here in australia they have a simple non invasive saliva test for marijuana, administered by police on the scene if intoxication is suspected. Already exists.

there needs to be a snack company called Great Satan's Snack Foods.

ah... I did leave out the thing about Mary... So with Tyler, we were pretty sure he roofied me because the other girl showed up positive for it, her mom was a nurse and made her go get tested based on her morning after symptoms (which I shared, and were like a really exaggerated hangover). I went straight to my…

I was part of a really close knit friend group at college. Four girls, we lived together, had lots of parties etc. One of the girls, I'll call her Mary, had a boyfriend Dennis. He and his friend Tyler dealt weed and generally contributed to the party atmosphere of our place. We did almost everything together, out…

When my kid does that kind of thing, I calmly and happily (it's a facade) pick her up and physically put her in the bathroom, say, and put the toothbrush in her hand and put toothpaste on it, praising her gently for brushing her teeth. Same with pick up your toys, or no we aren't getting that toy quit losing your shit…

they are.

yeah I'm alright now. Except for the other weird health issues that surfaced afterward...

saaaame. After the surgery when I could stand up and take my clothes off I went to look, it was really upsetting to see the scars there. My husband made a joke about my gunshot wounds that kind of helped me put it into perspective but a year later they're still there and ugly and red and remind me of that scary scary…

I came here to see if anyone else likes that.. If I've already had a clitoral O and I get a little cervix-knocking afterward, it is a strong, strong good second O. Like, whole body waves and I look around and see myself floating in the Milky Way surrounded by unicorns good. Can't go right into cervix knocking,…

Shade. If it came between you and butter, it's shade. I hope you and butter can make up and move on from that bitchness. :)

idk, I have a pretty particular sense of style that suits my body and personality... I get a lot of "compliments" but they often seem a bit tinged in shade to me. I tend to choose to believe they aren't being shady, just dumb, but if another woman comes up to me cooing about my clothes and how I'm "so brave" I might…

Butter is the best thing ever. Signed, a skinny lady she probably woulda hid it from...

well, where I live the UV is stupid high. Sunscreen gives me cystic acne, and my skin burns fast. I also have sensory processing issues. So I rock the old parasol, usually just an umbrella. I felt so weird and self conscious about it first but it works... And I go out of my way now to find cool looking ones, so…

same! When Downton Abbey killed off Matthew Crawley, I was a mess for days.. Not so much about the show, but the idea of suddenly losing one's husband just when things were looking sunny... Never never watched again.

I love this piece. Thank you for writing it, especially the part about embracing your poverty rather than trying to hide it. I was a ridiculously smart kid, grew up in extreme poverty. It WAS unstable, with younger cousins cycling in and out of my house as my aunts went to prison / became prostitutes / went on drug…

I've done exactly this many times. I just like it, and later when I'm stressed out I open up videos of little crabs running around, or drupes slowly moving up the sides of the tidepool and it makes me calm.

look, I Jill-off at least once a day and have an active sex life with my partner on top of that. But this is gross, she's not a heroine, she's nasty. This is as gross and offensive as if it were a man. And to 50 Shades? Ew, please.

When my daughter was a barely-walking toddler, I trained her to walk with me like leash training a puppy. That was what I thought about the whole time, though I seldom actually leashed her. Now she is older and always heels, sticks right next to me when we are out and about.