I missed a comma because I’m drunk on my couch neglecting children.

How dare you let a laptop neglect your children.

I’m going as Drew drunk on my couch, with a laptop neglecting my children.

I was on a date with this one gal

Also, we really need to have a BBQ contingency plan in place in the Northeast before we can even start to consider this.

Here, here!

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

He’s a professional soccer player. He dribbled past a few guys. Then he kicked the ball.

Kirk Cameron’s birthday party. Evidently, the other guests were left behind.

“A Dubstep is the best way to evade a tackler!”

I wish you were around when I was 12. My grandfather died and left me the Minnesota Twins. I didn’t like where things were going so I decided to manage the team myself. What a story that would have been, 12 year old manager brings in 13 year old reliever!

Jesus how does this not have more stars (and bars).

Arizona is Arians Nation!

At the very least we should send them a nice gift basket.

If a shoe and apparel company wants advertising on the site in association with a viral hoax they can call our sales department.

Nike is currently developing a Tebow shoe that helps its wearers leave footprints in the sand.

The No. 2 won the Money In The Bank ladder match. Therefore guaranteeing himself a shot against No. 1 whenever he wants. Pretty common knowledge, if you ask me.

This is fucking fantastic Kinja. The tigers will never know what hit them

Enciclopédia Marrom broke the case when Lochte said the robber spoke Spanish, as the official language of Brazil is Portuguese.