I literally do not put as much thought and planning into my actual life, as this guy put into his death.

Maybe I am lazy, but I would never put that much work into a scheme that I wouldn’t get to enjoy the outcome of....

Did I wake up in some alternate universe in which presidential candidates WANT people to believe they’ve stabbed someone and hit their mother with a hammer?? I’m losing my mind right?? Are we dead??

Also, Prince of Penzance’s jockey, Michelle Payne, was the first woman jockey to win that particular race, and sounds like a total badass.

Sooooo......a pair of underwear that is in close proximity to <that what shall not be named> remains forever unclean. Does this mean that the penises that presumably enter said taboo spot also remain forever unclean?

Further proof that ALL religions have extremists. It’s not just muslims, it’s not just christians. They ALL use religion as a weapon.

I suggest he volunteers for a new space program I’ve just now decided to fund, where we tie him to a rocket, and then send it to the fucking sun.

I’m not a celebrity but I went as grouchy curmudgeon who hates adults in costumes. It was the role I was born to play.

Autoplay needs to die in a fire

Isn’t forcing someone to have a child they don’t want a lot more like slavery?

Honey, if you can get an STD or an orgasm from it, sorry to break it to you but IT’S SEX. It’s sexual activity, you can get a disease from it. It’s sex. Only sex is P in V? Then how do gay people do it?

This is so fucking gross and annoying. And you can get a hymen certificate all you want, that doesn’t prove you didn’t have oral or any other sex. I grew up with Catholic girls who called themselves *~virgins~* but blew everybody and had anal. I hate this religious hypocrisy. When you make a huge fuss about something…

Who is Jenny Lewis?

Beyonce is trash next to Adele, same with Rihanna. Nobody disagrees with this.

“Dip” to me implies cheese or sour cream (optionally + flavorings, in either).

Me: “I want to go see Angela Lansbury’s one woman play.”

I really hate this. I have no desire to shame her body. Some people are naturally that skinny and they shouldn’t have to get judged harshly or feel like people are worried by their natural shape.

I gasped also. Please, someone tell me those legs are photoshopped. I’m scared for her. :/

I hope I see someone wearing these in the street, drinking coffee, so I can walk past and put a quarter in it.

The craziest thing to me is that this aesthetic reminds me of extreme poverty. When I think of homeless people or some of the people who live in the Brazilian favelas, that’s the kind of stuff they wear (because they can’t afford clothing and take donations and whatnot). And then this dude comes in and launches this…