Somehow I read the whole speech in the voice of Quinn Morgendorffer...

As a pescetarian, you won’t have any problem getting enough protein, don’t worry. But you have to look out for iron an Vitamin B12.

I got very excited about getting a new fridge a couple weeks ago. Yesterday I finally bought a heat-resistant dough scraper, that has been on my wishlist for ages.

Perfectly understandable choice of gif, but... Now I’m sad again that My Name Is Earl was cancelled

Every single one of these otfits is fucking awful!

Daria is too much of a hippie name anyway. You should call der Darleen ;)

I didn’t recognize him at first. I thought the guy pictured was Stephen Hendry, the snooker player:

There’s an easy solution (as a lot of people will already know, but whatever):

Obligatory:

Merkel is fluent in Russian.

While I’m sure somebody called her names, it certainly was not Dreckspatz. “Dirty sparrow” is not an insult, it’s quite cute and used almost exclusively for kids

Hate to break it to you, but: we never did.

And Seehofer.

The Document shows who is considered a true German (“Deutschblütiger”), who is considered to be of mixed race (“Mischling 1./2.  Grades”) and who is considered a Jew, going back to the generation of the grandparents (Großeltern). It also says who is allowed to marry who, either with or without consent of officials,…

no need to insult sauerbraten!

Metal fans are the greatest people you could meet. The more extreme the make up, the nicer they are.

Chanel Rouge Allure No. 104 (Passion)

Chanel Rouge Allure No. 104 (Passion)

3-4 hours for ambulances to respond is just wrong. The worst/slowest I’ve ever heard of was 20 minutes. And that wasn’t a emergency (i.e. no heart attack or something), just a broken leg.