Tis true.

What the hell? Are you serious?

Yes! Thank you. Haven’t played, but I was running through the comments and hoping to see The Prestige referenced here. Excellent work.

Son of a bitch. +17

THIS. My gf and I live two hours from each other, and I recently took the leap of faith and straight up told her that texting all day is actually just a pain in the butt - not only do our texting conversations look the same from day to day (after a year and a half of dating when we know each others routine), but…

My roommate is a lawyer, I got that in spades.

...are you a troll? Or genuinely stupid?

And apologies if you’re neither of the two, but you’re really making a convincing case for one or the other.

Nah, man. You’re a funny writer. Keep going. I mean, you’re writing a humor column where you don’t even have to be funny because the people who read this site (...me included) are so gloriously fucked up that the actual legal problem just writes the jokes for you.

This is actually confirmation of what I’ve always though - that Blops 2 has the most finely-tuned multiplayer experience for a FPS. I have a PS4 with a decent amount of games, and I’ll still power up my 360 at the end of the night to play my dear old Blops.

...did Drew just watch this? Because this is eerily similar.

This was a great piece! Thanks so much for sharing your insight - and obligatory ‘MURICA since I’m commenting on the internet.

And some would make the argument that that’s all he can hope for - to be better than he was. Any of us, really. I applaud it (and I’m a Chicago resident, for goodness sakes).

Seriously, those two lines are just ridiculous when they’re next to each other. I just can’t believe that he’s still trying to pull some sort of damage control. Every PR firm in the world would tell him to just shut the hell up and vanish for a few months/his suspension. Instead, this happens. It’s awfully wonderful.

Sounds like something the Commerce Team needs to capitalize on right away! (actually, I love those guys, they are my Amazon drip feed)

Please tell me that you’ve been watching Narcos.

I’m really hoping this is an Outkast reference.

Tyler, you’re doing amazing work here. This has to be the fifth comment I’ve seen where you’ve pointed out the completely obvious. Way to make me believe in Kinja again.

Holy schnikes, that makes a world of a difference. Okay, this is splendid.