Ah yes, the good old town of Depot, right next to Depan and Destove.

Alternately, have no kids, save a crapton of money and go on a nice vacation somewhere where you can fuck your husband silly.

Best: 1973 Pontiac Bonneville. She was a beast and didn’t fit into most parking spaces. Things busted on it constantly. She weighed as much as most pickups. The snazziest feature she could tout was AC that hadn’t been recharged since the Nixon administration. But she was my companion for many an adventure.

I’d like to say this is a shocking ruling, but it happened in Idaho, a state which proudly boasts about how loud the banjos are and the lack of branches in their family trees.

As an Oregonian, it made me FURIOUS. These guys weren’t from our state, didn’t know jack about what was going on, and cost our already over-taxed and under-funded law enforcement a METRIC FUCKTON of money. There are counties in Oregon that have had to shut down their jails and reduce their patrols to two officers…

I’m also a Wiccan and I celebrate Yule and Christmas. My family is very secular, so Christmas is a time to cover shit in glitter and tinsel. Yule is more my holiday to do my religious hoopla. I’m generally easy going about the holidays as well.

I went to the South once and it reaffirmed that you will have to pry my cold, dead, moss covered, craft beer pickled body from the PNW. Fuck the South. It’s hot and it has zero personality (southern charm my ass, I’ll take Portland’s bagpiping Darth Vader, kthxbai). Cheap housing be damned. Also, we already have that,…

Nothing will change their minds. Absolutely nothing.

When we moved into our house, there were “Beware of Dog” signs all over our fence from the previous owner. Being a lazy asshat, I didn’t take them down and about five days after we moved in, we adopted a doofy black pitbull who goes into a complete MELTDOWN whenever someone is at the door, drops off a package, or if…

During the 2016 election, she was a part of the group Republican Women for Hillary and ran a local chapter in Utah.

Or just buy a damned French press like a person in possession of tastebuds.

Racists in the Eugene area are very vogue right now. I’d like to humbly submit the case of Jimmy Marr the local white supremacist for the greater Eugene/Springfield area so that he might be tarred and feathered via the interwebs: http://registerguard.com/rg/news/local/34866616-75/springfield-man-arrested-after-blaring…

Fun fact: Oregon has been a hold out of white supremacy and the KKK since it’s beginning. While it wasn’t a slave state, there was language written into the state constitution limiting the amount of time a black person could spend in the state.

I have that bumpersticker on my truck and—coincidentally—also live in Oregon (though not the shithole that is Eugene). It says “Trump/Putin ‘16: Making Tyranny Great Again.”

I’m pretty sure that bicyclists give zero fucks about the handbook, especially since you have to go to the DMV to get it.

As an 4th generation Oregonian who wants to light Portland on fire and dance naked in the ashes, I approve this message.

Bullying has always been awful and terrible, it just that now asshole kids have social media to torment kids when they aren’t in school. I’ve been fat my whole life and my only escape from being bullied was going home or to the library. I did all kinds of self-destructive crap because of it and the only reason I…

Seriously, fuck these parents.

Mostly it is the ease of cleaning and the look (I personally salivate whenever I see a shiny new Le Creuset piece). The whole “you can’t cook acidic foods in cast iron because reasons of seasoning” is a bunch of bullcrap. I have used cast iron literally all my life and have pans that my great-grandmother used in the…