Glad I’m not the only 8 days a year Pagan.

I grew up on a reservation as the 10% of the town that wasn’t Native. The tribe referred to themselves as a “confederated Indian tribe,” a name they chose for themselves after the Feds reinstated them as a tribe in the 80s. Growing up, I referred to my friends as “Native” or “Indian” and never thought that there was…

“I have legally used the tax laws to my benefit...Honestly, I have brilliantly used those laws.”

I have my money on Northern Ireland and Scotland fucking off and creating a new kingdom. I’d like to suggest the United Celtic Kingdom. They can get Ireland and Isle of Man in on the action and join up with the EU again.

For everyone out there that thinks Oregon is a mecca of Liberalism and fair trade, ethically source vegan everything, half of my fine state is populated with mouth breathing ‘Murica types like this schmo. Governor Brown was amazingly civil to this asshat, all things considered.

Finally, a car that handles like a shopping cart with a janky wheel, featuring the world’s worse gearbox and a microscopic engine in purple! Just what I never wanted.

Except the Seat Mii handles like shit. I drove one on a two week tour of Ireland where I drove down glorified sheep trails and my spine has still not recovered. They are the Geo Metro of Europe.

“...they suggest using credit when you pay for a car rental because most cards offer car rental insurance.”

These people obviously never owned a super reliable, not-at-all-a-steaming-hunk-of-junk, late 90s Chevy Malibu. Otherwise they would have known that at some indeterminable point in the future, you would have to figure out how to use your trip as a somewhat reliable fuel gauge due to the gauge deciding to flip a 360…

I mispronounce shit all the time because I watch too much British television.

I was the embarrassed owner of the world’s most boring and unreliable car: a 1998 Chevy Malibu. In a feverish state I thought I would settle down, buy myself a house with a picket fence and have some kids and thought “I NEED A SENSIBLE SEDAN.”

The original was a gift and you don’t deserve it, World.

This is why being an Oregonian is fantastic. All our elections are by mail so we get to hoarde our ballots for a couple of weeks while researching what wacko wants to be on treasurer or whatever. I can't imagine having to take a day off work to stand in line just to poke a button, or whatever it is people do at…

Someone has to punish them for their terrible taste in cars.

The trick is to have an incognito car. In the 3 years I owned my lumbering, crap brown 1973 Pontiac Bonneville I was pulled over probably 300 to 400 times (I got 2 tickets out of all that, btw). It was the same dimensions as a pick-up and everyone and their dog heard the dual exhaust from a mile away. If I saw a cop,…

Isn’t it painfully obvious from the sound that it’s a ratchet system? I never thought twice about pulling the hand brake without depressing the release button because it is a RELEASE. As in, it releases, not sets.

My husband’s Accord is mostly reliable (a few leaks here and there, but nothing that left us on the side of the road) but dear God it is boring. It is the equivalent to driving around a living room full of beige. It is the armchair of the car world: comfortable, practical, not necessarily pretty, and it will put you…

I always make sure that I wipe the tip of the applicators off really well. I also use a weird mirror trick where I hold the mirror down by my chin and tilt it up so I’m looking at my lashes from the underside and apply it that way. It basically forces your eyes half-closed and makes it easier to apply, especially if…

I always make sure that I wipe the tip of the applicators off really well. I also use a weird mirror trick where I…

Full n Soft is AMAZEBALLS. I have no idea why it doesn’t have the cult following of the pink and green stuff.

Full n Soft is AMAZEBALLS. I have no idea why it doesn’t have the cult following of the pink and green stuff.