Accidental Prayer Misfire is one of the reasons why my uncle JimBob only has 4 fingers! Walked around all day with a thought loaded full of prayers shoved in his right pocket. Reaches in to adjust the thought (I guess it was rubbing him the wrong way), one of those prayers went off and BAM! no more pinky.

“Now where did I put that dildo? I checked the thoughts, dildos, and prayers drawer, but all that was in there was a bunch of stupid fucking prayers!  I can’t fuck anything with a prayer!”

Dirt Addiction basically nailed the answer to your questions, but just jumping in here to add a bit to what they said. We have a tendency, especially in the West, and especially-especially in the US, to assume that people innately “like” and “dislike” things. The thing is, that’s not really the case - you were…

I keep my thoughts and prayers locked away in a safe place, so that any kids or mentally deranged people in my house can’t accidentally take one of those thoughts or prayers and use it in a way that was not intended.  I learned my lesson after my 5 year old nephew found an unattended thought in my house and started…

Those toddlers were all clearly mentally ill.  

I mean, we all know exactly why they take the hats everywhere, don’t we? Why, it’s specifically to create these kinds of scenes so they can claim victimization.

Yeah, that’s exactly my point. And if flying in directly from overhead didn’t work, they could have just parked a couple X Wings immediately outside of the exhaust port, parked a couple more facing away in various directions for defense, and fired as many Proton Torpedoes as it took until one finally went into the…

Technically correct is the best kind of correct. 

Not speaking for anyone else, but my opinion of the situation is that wanting to help and tossing out random ideas is not actually commendable. Successfully helping? Totally commendable. Trying to help and failing while not making things worse? Also totally commendable. Expressing a sincere desire to help at some…

I will never understand how people can watch starfighters in Star Wars basically fly around like they’re in an atmosphere, but then expect realistic physics from Star Destroyers in TLJ. Pretty much *nothing* in the Star Wars universe moves through zero-g space like it should, you never had a problem with it before,…

You take obvious jokes on the internet literally in order to make your own, less funny jokes.  

Trying to pick the Worst Tweet Ever is like trying to decide which episode of explosive diarrhea you’ve had in your life was the worst.  I suppose its possible, but, like, isn’t it all pretty terrible?

I pick the people metacommenting on other’s comments as being the most insufferable.

You’re in the ballpark, but if you really want to nail it, you need to pick one, bizarrely specific thing about the thing you hate that makes it an objectively bad thing. Extra points will be awarded for the obscurity of the thing that you pick.

No need to be embarrassed for me friendo. You just typed several hundred words of pedantic error-correction (which...seriously?) in response to my statement, a statement that basically amounted to “sure, nativism is a problem, but the more proximate problem is ICE and the child detention centers”. Because, and stick…

I’m gonna Godwin’s Law you here, but stay tuned anyway because I want you to see what a stupid rhetorical point you just made:

Strong user name/comment synergy, though.  

I know “___ is the name of my band” jokes are well past played out by this point, but An Oddly Vigorous Hula Dance would be an objectively awesome band name.

FTFY: Alex Jones wants conservatives to protect  show up with guns in a blatant attempt to threaten the owner of the Red Hen.  

Just like a gentleman always opens a door for a lady, or pulls back a chair for a lady, or holds an umbrella to keep a lady from getting wet in the rain, so too does a gentleman always pay for unprotected sex. It’s just the polite thing to do!