Wait 'til they have another one. Then they'll be all "You're fine, walk it off. Where'd I put that peanut beer...?"

I want elephant parents. They get me.

It's almost like going on a reality show when you make a living through illegal activities is a really stupid idea.

I assumed in the weeds was derived from the golfing term - basically meaning you're fucked/hard to find a way out.

Of course, Tracy Morgan's injuries would be considerably less HAD HE NOT BEEN HIT BY A WALMART TRUCK.

Maybe they just can't be confined at all. Like wild stallions.

I like the way The Talk handled it...they refused to mention him by name when discussing the incident.

It's actually causing me physical pain not to point and laugh at them.

Because this post shouldn't run without this virtuoso bit from last night's LWT:

I'm going to quit my job and just devote my life to being an Ariana Grande's Ponytail truther.

So basically Iran is the town from Footloose?

YESSS. I was going to mention this but couldn't find the article where she says that. The layers of stupid here are truly never ending.

I was fully admiring the model's thighs. That's fantastic.

Give me a feather. I guarantee those suckers will move.

As a woman "you need some type of release," says Jones, who has a 5-year-old daughter.

They lost me at "affirmations".

Yes, with "hair."

Is it just me, or does John Travolta increasingly resemble a 1980's cartoon villain? He's like Gargamel with hair.

The others were good?