Mark my words: If there isn’t a “Saints got robbed!” chant at the first Home Game, I’ll Bayou a steak dinner.

Saints fans will continue flood the NFL offices with their grievances 

I’m sure there will be bounties of them.

Anxiously awaiting the flood of puns that are sure to follow.

my beloved wife was crying her eyes out in the bedroom because she’s a Colts fan

Wow these fans are ready to levee war on NFL officials.

Andy Reid will only coach in states with this exact structure. 

I have good news for you!  You actually do not have to click the link.

If the Dolphins traded Tunsil, as shitty as their line already is, Josh Rosen might actually not survive the season.

If you think the Bengals will let go of a domestic abuser on offense *that* easily, you don’t know Mike Brown...

Hey when life gives you lemons...

David:

I figured “Hawking Dude Juice” is, if not illegal, at least highly frowned upon in the conservative Midwest.

The depth very well could be limitless. Good point, Commodore.

Future Chief...

You joke, but that’s several million dollars’ worth of caulk.

If you play fantasy football, you have to follow the injury reports, and the police blotter if you have any Chiefs on your team. “My QB is on the DL with a separated shoulder, and my WR can’t play because of that viral video of him tossing a puppy into a jet engine.”

“The Kansas City Royals drafted Dan Marino and John Elway.

There are times where contract articles get so deep into the weeds that I feel like at any moment the author might say, “But the Texans’ Maverick can trade lumber for agriculture credits.” and it wouldn’t sound any more made up.

Sounds like Clowney’s being penny-wise.