What about marine biology?  

I felt really bad for O.J. Simpson until I remembered I don’t give a shit about anyone’s fantasy football team, and also that time he killed his ex-wife and a waiter.

“Architecture really seems like the only choice “ George Costanza 

Here’s a question: is CTE from playing FOOTBAW going to be an electoral asset, or a liability? On the former side, you can always attribute any particularly stupid thing you say to the CTE; on the latter, you still say stupid shit.

Why does every WYTS have a Pats fan in the comments that somehow makes it about them?  Extra points for squeezing in the number of Super Bowls they have in the last several years.  WE KNOW DUDE, WE ALL KNOW, JUST LET US HAVE ONE FUCKING BLOG WHERE WE CAN FOCUS ON SOMEONE ELSE

Damn it, Jerry!

Not afflicted with the small bone?  Nick Foles. 

*Hunts and cooks a neighborhood child*

Oh lovely desk dent... You are my only friend, desk dent. You fit my forehead perfectly and more perfectly every time I read a Trump story. Don’t ever leave me desk dent. I don’t think my walls can take it.

And got taken down by Britt McHenry, of all people.  I don’t even know.

Teams cut players two weeks before the season. Why should it be a one-way street?

So true.  The way those Indy fans booed him was truly disgusting. 

Of course, known credit-card thief and backwards-pants-wearing plagiarist Doug Gottlieb had a Clay Travis-level take:

The obvious solution is to get a team of troops because we all know they could probably beat these guys anyway. More and more people are saying it. You’re really hearing it more and more.

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

Dakich quit on West Virginia after one week because it was “too hard.” He's your average conservative hypocrite snowflake.

At least he helped the Colts put up a banner before retiring:

“Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit quaaludes.”

Not every NFL quarterback can have the career longevity of RG3.

Submissions for the NFL previews are closed. Next up: Indianapolis Colts.