The word “hero” gets tossed around a lot, but ...

I feel there should be a whole line of Cleveland-themed variations.  The Cleveland Zoo, for example, could add to the Steamer by having the recipient fling it back to their partner. 

It’s not the home of the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame for nothing.

“Shelled pistachios” have no shell. They have been shelled.

I’m 42 years old and I have no idea who Rudolph Valentino is and I consider myself relatively worldly. I don’t think he’d be in the top 1,000 most famous people. 

Who? 

No Pope Thrower? 

My top 5: Jesus Christ The Pope (any Pope)

God damn it’s like I’m staring into the sun. 

This is art. 

We had our third non-losing season in 20 years, added a couple offensive pieces, and now our idiot fans thinks the Browns are going to the fucking Super Bowl.

Managing expectations for this team is like having a two year old. I know you’re going to shit your pants today but if you can manage to keep most of it in your diaper and off the walls we can call that a success. 

That Salisbury steak comment hit too close to home. Hey, that family-size microwaveable tray was on sale at Marc’s!

How has this helmet-related holdout not been dubbed Operation Schuttdown yet?

Call Favre, he usually specializes in sending unsolicited helmets but maybe he honors requests too.

Or an anteater.

Who is dumb enough to take that weak ass trade that Brown is offering for it? He literally is claiming that he needs this helmet to continue his career, and yet his offer is to give you a single item that has no value to him.

there hasn’t been this much fuss about a second Schutt Air since the JFK assassination

Well, I don’t blame him. You can’t exactly search Backpage anymore when you want some helmet. 

Or maybe the wealthy professional football team he plays for could figure out a way to get its hands on one for him.